The other night I watched the first three episodes of Drive, the new show on Fox, about an illegal cross country race. It’s kinda like “Lost” on wheels…but it’s good. It’s not derivative. I mean, you know the source material when you see it but it’s good. It’s anchored by my man Nathan Fillion, who will ALWAYS be Captain Malcolm Reynolds of “Firefly” fame. But he is so immensely likable, you want to root for him in anything. But there was one moment in the third episode that I want to talk about.
Long story short, Fillion plays Alex Tully, a man that is searching for his kidnapped wife but apparently has a past as a wheel man for bank robberies. He has been captured
And imprisoned by this cop that accuses him of this. But he keeps denying it. Finally, he admits that he is an illegal cross-country race but not a wheel man and this cop admits to being a fake that works for the guys running the race and that he wanted to remind Tully of who he really is. And they give him back his bank robbin’ car, this nasty-ass, vicious looking Dodge Challenger. This thing is BAD. It’s black with this dark blue stripe that runs up either side of the body and it is just beautiful.
And Tully jumps in his car, saves this chick that’s riding with him and gets back into the race. He is tearing down this highway and all the other characters on the show, driving different cars can HEAR hum coming. They hear this throaty growl and they look back and that bad-ass ride goes by them like they are standing still. There’s these cool shots of Fillion driving the car and it’s shot like a car commercial where they lock the camera to the car and only the background is moving. But you can see the whole car ripping down this highway. Trucks are spinning out behind him and he is just slicing thru traffic. All the characters are like “ What the f$%& is that?!?” and this monster just dusts them. He burns this Firebird like it’s nothing, just tearing s@&% up and announcing that he is the man to beat. And they play a different version of Lunatic Calm’s “Leave You Far Behind” during the whole thing, which sounded GREAT while this is all going on. The last shot of this sequence is Fillion driving with this scowl that slowly turns into a small smile that says “ Yeah, muthaf*(%#@s, Alex Tully is BACK.”
It was the coolest thing I’ve seen on television this year, EASY.
Watch “Drive” Mondays at 8 on Fox.

I'll make this quick 'cause I am crazy busy. "24"? Crazy. Jack Bauer is the N@#$$a. Stright up. My man is THE one man killing machine. He gets more buck-wild with ever passing week. He should've been smoking a cigarette when Ricky Schroder showed up, that would've been funny. Smoking a cigarette and reading the paper. " Hey guys, where ya been?" lol...
And I won't gloat about Audrey. That was just too obvious to me that she wasn't dead. Now, I have NO idea where this show is going. But it's funny. Always funny...lol...

Concerning last nights episode of "24":

Huh?

That is all.

THE BATTLESTAR GALACTICA SEASON FINALE

Wow. Wowwowwowwowwowwow.
That was something else. You kinda suspected that since those four were the only ones to hear the music that they might be Cylons...but I was still in disbelief after the episode ended. I was like "Well, maybe they are being messed with or maybe..." lol...nope. They're Cylons. I thought it couldn't be the Chief because he and Cally have a baby and the baby seems normal. But they KNEW Hera was half Cylon so they knew what to look for. They just assumed that the Chiefs baby was just a baby. Plus, the final five seem to be different than the other Cylons. Maybe more humaly advanced. But do they download? If Tigh dies, does he just die? And who is the final Cylon? Is Roslin too easy an answer, though she seems attuned to Boomer and Caprica Six? Is it Ellen? Starbuck? Admiral Adama? If it's Adama, why didn't he hear the music? There aren't too many other characters left. But many have "died". Billy ( who I always kinda suspected anyway), Cat, Jammer...could they be the final Cylon? It has to be big though, the revelation. That kinda scares me.
I have to take a moment to point this out. Victories and early realizations are hard to come by, so you have to give me this one. About 10 minutes into the show after listening to Tyrol hum I said to my friend Tony. "You know, I must be going crazy, 'cause it sounds like he's humming All Along The Watchtower...That's what he's humming." So when it turned out to be I was like, "Wow. I actually picked up on something."
I wasn't sure when Starbuck would come back ( you knew they had to be jerking our chains somehow) so it was really cool when she returned. When the second half of the season started the commercials said "One will die, one will find the way to earth"...you just didn't know it would be the same person.
I bet all the actors were insanely jealous of Jamie Bamber(Lee Adama). He got to give one of the best speeches I've seen a television (or movie) character give. And he was excellent. He covered the entire show, from beginning to present and summed it all up in one great scene. When he said that they were a "gang, trying to survive" I said to my friend Tony "See, this is why Voyager never worked out right." You never got that sense they they were on the edge of survival, of just squeaking by, of being desperate and making really hard choices. Half the time the show made it seem like they were in the Alpha Quadrant the whole time. But not Galactica. What a great show.

On "24" the other night, Jack was told that Audrey Raines was dead. Now, when someone on "24" dies, someone of tenure, I usually go on this whole thing about how this show has killed off more characters then any other show and blah blah blah...
Only Audrey Raines ain't dead.

They ain't foolin' me. They are setting up next season with that whole "Audrey is dead" nonsense. I think the Chinese have her. I mean, she's the daughter of a very important man and she herself has very important information that the Chinese would love to extract from her. I think they asked for and got DNA from the U.S. to not verify the identity of a dead body but to double check that who they had was really her. Now, honestly, I don't know how they could incorporate that into a "24" type season...not sure how that would fit in. Also, I read that the actress that plays her actually filmed a pilot for another show. Hmmm...this thought of mine is starting to look like a dud....NO! They're not fooling me! No! Audrey Raines ain't dead! I don't think....

Now BSG. I haven't written about Galactica in a while. The season has been slower this season but I think that's been intentional. I think not having contact with the Cylons was definitely their plan. They have been folLowing the fleet, looking for the path to earth but I also think that whatever is happening on the Galactica and around the fleet was precipitated by the Cylons. I think they are running some sort of experiment on them. I don't know how that sound that has been driving Tigh crazy fits in ( or Tigh's in...CLEVER!) but I definitely think they are screwing with the fleet. Or, it could be from the nebula they are approaching, what the hell do I know.... I'm sure I am completely wrong...me and my goofy theories...lol...

Ah, "24"...I can always get a laugh out of you. This show truly brings out my dark side when I am amused at
the carnage that Jack brings. Last week, Jack cut the Russian ambassador's pinky off but what made me
laugh is that Jack hauls off and punches him dead in the face afterwards...lol. Talk about insult to injury...
lol.. So then Jack gets hammered by the Russians. First the Chinese and now the Russians. Jack has about
1/5 th of the world's population mad at him.
So last night Jack goes into Cold War Spy Jack mode, complete with a Walther PPK, 007 style. Chillin'.
And we end up with a crazy gunfight and President Logan....dead? Aw, that's too bad....lol...Hey, was it me,
or did Rick Shroeder look TERRIBLE? My man looked really worn out. Maybe he shouldn't have bailed on
NYPD Blue, he looks like he had some lean years afterwards. And I'm wondering how he and Jack will
interact with one another. Jack will probably end up shooting him.
And now for a complete change of direction: The Knicks had a great victory in D.C. the other day.
Francis hit the game winner and me, like an idiot, was running upstairs with my dinner. I saw the dude at
the free throw line so I turned off the set in the den and ran upstairs and I see everybody running around like
maniacs celebrating. Damn. Hate missing moments like that. Whattaya gonna do? I read something very
interesting in the paper. The Knicks are the only team in the league to improve their winning percentage
each month. Wow. As much as I don't like Isiah Thomas.....he deserves to come back next season. Damn..that
was like swallowing glass. But I have to face it...
Oh, back to 24 for a second. Last week that Russian guy was gonna help Jack and got neck shot for his
troubles. This week another guy helps him and gets shot. On 24 no good deed goes unpunished...

Haven't written in FOREVER...just busy, busy busy. I actually will have to bail on the "24 DEATH CHART".
I just can't maintain it. Plus missing an episode relly goofed me up. Oh well. Lemme catch up on some things.

•The last episode of The Office entitled "Cocktails"? Classic. Just classic. "I'm gonna kill Jim Halpert" should
be the name of a song or a band or something....Actually the last two episodes, directed by Joss Whedon
and J.J. Abrams respectively, were just excellent. That show is way too much and I can't wait to see how this
season ends... What will it bring for JAM?
• We were talking about The Oscars at work the day after and I was suddenly struck with something that was sort of
subconciously rambling around in my head: Helen Mirren is SEXY as hell. Damn, that broad is HOT. Can't
explain it but I find her REALLY interesting. I've only seen her in a handful of things( The Cook, The Thief, etc.
-which I didn't even REMEMBER that she was in until that day-2010, Prime Suspect) but she really has something
about her. Then someone told me that she used to do a lot of nude scenes and I said "REALLY." and busted
out my friend Google Image search. DAMN. She sure did. Whoa..Helen you SAUCY tart, you! My goodness...
I don't care how old she is, she's a babe. And then last night watching halftime of the Cavs/Mavs game Charles
Barkley said " Hey, is it me or is Helen Mirren sexy?" Nah, man, it ain't you. Helen Mirren. Babe.
•Speaking of basketball, the Knicks have made me insane. You NEVER know what you're going to get with this team. Now, honestly, I don't expect them to make the playoffs but it still makes me crazy with the one step forward two steps back thing. And the spotting the other team a huge lead and then fighting back only to lose most of the time thing. Crazy...they'll make you pull your hair out. Well... at least they ain't boring.....

Screwed up...It was beyond my control, however. I MISSED 24 ON MONDAY. For the first time ever in over 5 seasons of viewing, I missed an episode of 24. Completely blows. So I have to see if I can get my hands on the episode. I don't know if Youtube has it or not but....I'm bummed. : (

24 DEATH CHART

Damn...been so busy that I almost didn't get to this...Still busy, really. So here is a cursory update...besides, they almost made it through to whole episode with no one dying. Then those two poor slobs end up toast in the last 30 seconds. Poor bastards....

EPISODES 11 A.M. TO 12 P.M. (Episode 6)

DEATH BY SHOOTING: 2 SEASON TOTAL: 11
BY JACK: 0 SEASON TOTAL: 1

24 DEATH CHART

Damn...12,000 dead...that's...that's a tidy sum. Wow. Jack would have to ride a nuclear missile into China or some damned place Slim Pickens style to even catch up to the terrorists in the death numbers. In fact, Jack has only killed two people in 5 episodes, a woefully low number for a man of his pedigree. I suspect, however, that he'll get his numbers up in the next few weeks. He needs to blow up a plane full of bad guys or something. That would be cool. But he is definitely back in the game now, as evidenced by him suffocating his brother. Hilarious. I could watch him do that off and on for a whole episode. And I can't believe that dude is Jack's brother!!!! Oh, wait til Jack finds out how bad this guy is...Well, they've run out of co-workers for Jack to kill to prove how hard he is...now they can have him knock off his brother AND pops. Too bad Donald Sutherland didn't play his dad, that would be GREAT. Oh well..

So, I'm gonna go ahead and count those 12,000 estimated...I'll adjust (if need be) later.

EPISODES 10 A.M. TO 11 P.M. (Episode 5)

DEATH BY CRASHING: 2 SEASON TOTAL: 2
BY JACK: 0 SEASON TOTAL: 0

DEATH BY EXPLOSION: 12,000 SEASON TOTAL: 15,348(!!!!!)
BY JACK: 0 SEASON TOTAL: 0

24 DEATH CHART

Wow. Wow wow wow wow wow. The first 4 hours of 24 was INSANE, specifically the last one. This show has raised the bar so high for itself that now they have to do something completely crazy to upstage the previous seasons. And they sure did. It was crazy enough that well over a thousand people had died in bombing attacks but they REALLY added to it with the nuclear explosion. Goodbye Valencia, California. I wonder how the folks feel there, knowing that they destroyed their town on TV.
Poor Jack was just warming up after being held by the Chinese for two years. But you know it ain't 24 until Jack wounds or kills one of his co-workers. I'd hate to have this guy in the office. But Curtis played himself. I know he was upset, that was understandable, but he should've just chilled and waited. Hell, they gave Nina Meyers a pardon and Jack just waited for the right time. She killed his wife! Jack whispered something in her ear and she got mad scared. He got her ass the next season too. Curtis should've went like that. Poor stupid Curtis. Add him to the growing list of characters that had been on the show for more than a season and died. Here they are:

David Palmer

Sherry Palmer

Michelle Dessler

Tony Almieda

Walt Cummings

Edgar Stiles

Nina Meyers

George Mason

Ryan Chappelle

Curtis Manning

I'm sure I'm forgetting someone...Anyway onto the chart. I'm not gonna count the 900+ the apparently died before the show started, I'm sticking to what happened during the course of the episodes. And, obviously I can't total up the nuclear explosion deaths yet..so next week should see a big spike in that area.

EPISODES 6 A.M. TO 10 P.M. (Episodes 1-4)

DEATH BY SHOOTING: 9 SEASON TOTAL: 9
BY JACK: 1 SEASON TOTAL: 1

DEATH BY STABBING: 1 SEASON TOTAL: 1
BY JACK: 0 SEASON TOTAL: 0

DEATH BY BLUDGEONING: 1 SEASON TOTAL: 1
BY JACK: 0 SEASON TOTAL: 0

DEATH BY BITING (LOL): 1 SEASON TOTAL: 1
BY JACK: 1 SEASON TOTAL: 1

DEATH BY STRANGLING: 1 SEASON TOTAL: 1
BY JACK: 0 SEASON TOTAL: 0

DEATH BY EXPLOSION: 348 SEASON TOTAL: 348
BY JACK: 0 SEASON TOTAL: 0

DEATH BY SUICIDE:(NUMBERS REFLECTED IN ABOVE DEATHS BUT WORTH NOTING):
6 SEASON TOTAL:6

Hey...this isn't exactly an earth-shattering revelation but...Is Barry Bonds the biggest ass in sports or what? He wasn't the best teammate to start with but when you get caught using amphetamines and you say you got them from a teammates locker and YOU NAME THE TEAMMATE, you just completely crossed into "Utter Jackass" land. Damn, that was cold...He just threw Mark Sweeney under the bus. Now, I think my man Barry is lying through his Human Growth Hormone affected teeth but damn...if you lie just say I don't know who I got it from. That was some truly cold business....

JACK...IS...BACK!!!

Oh boy..."24" starts up again..and will be taking over my ENTIRE weekend. Bastards!! Jack is all tortured and beaten by the Chinese...but he's back on U.S, soil in time for some huge terrorist attacks. I get the feeling that this will be the most brutal season of "24" thus far. And I have to start up my "24 Death Chart" again. Like a dope I lost my tallys for the season finale so I never got a complete number but this year I will be ON POINT. Let the carnage begin!!!!