24 DEATH CHART

Damn...12,000 dead...that's...that's a tidy sum. Wow. Jack would have to ride a nuclear missile into China or some damned place Slim Pickens style to even catch up to the terrorists in the death numbers. In fact, Jack has only killed two people in 5 episodes, a woefully low number for a man of his pedigree. I suspect, however, that he'll get his numbers up in the next few weeks. He needs to blow up a plane full of bad guys or something. That would be cool. But he is definitely back in the game now, as evidenced by him suffocating his brother. Hilarious. I could watch him do that off and on for a whole episode. And I can't believe that dude is Jack's brother!!!! Oh, wait til Jack finds out how bad this guy is...Well, they've run out of co-workers for Jack to kill to prove how hard he is...now they can have him knock off his brother AND pops. Too bad Donald Sutherland didn't play his dad, that would be GREAT. Oh well..

So, I'm gonna go ahead and count those 12,000 estimated...I'll adjust (if need be) later.

EPISODES 10 A.M. TO 11 P.M. (Episode 5)

DEATH BY CRASHING: 2 SEASON TOTAL: 2
BY JACK: 0 SEASON TOTAL: 0

DEATH BY EXPLOSION: 12,000 SEASON TOTAL: 15,348(!!!!!)
BY JACK: 0 SEASON TOTAL: 0

24 DEATH CHART

Wow. Wow wow wow wow wow. The first 4 hours of 24 was INSANE, specifically the last one. This show has raised the bar so high for itself that now they have to do something completely crazy to upstage the previous seasons. And they sure did. It was crazy enough that well over a thousand people had died in bombing attacks but they REALLY added to it with the nuclear explosion. Goodbye Valencia, California. I wonder how the folks feel there, knowing that they destroyed their town on TV.
Poor Jack was just warming up after being held by the Chinese for two years. But you know it ain't 24 until Jack wounds or kills one of his co-workers. I'd hate to have this guy in the office. But Curtis played himself. I know he was upset, that was understandable, but he should've just chilled and waited. Hell, they gave Nina Meyers a pardon and Jack just waited for the right time. She killed his wife! Jack whispered something in her ear and she got mad scared. He got her ass the next season too. Curtis should've went like that. Poor stupid Curtis. Add him to the growing list of characters that had been on the show for more than a season and died. Here they are:

David Palmer

Sherry Palmer

Michelle Dessler

Tony Almieda

Walt Cummings

Edgar Stiles

Nina Meyers

George Mason

Ryan Chappelle

Curtis Manning

I'm sure I'm forgetting someone...Anyway onto the chart. I'm not gonna count the 900+ the apparently died before the show started, I'm sticking to what happened during the course of the episodes. And, obviously I can't total up the nuclear explosion deaths yet..so next week should see a big spike in that area.

EPISODES 6 A.M. TO 10 P.M. (Episodes 1-4)

DEATH BY SHOOTING: 9 SEASON TOTAL: 9
BY JACK: 1 SEASON TOTAL: 1

DEATH BY STABBING: 1 SEASON TOTAL: 1
BY JACK: 0 SEASON TOTAL: 0

DEATH BY BLUDGEONING: 1 SEASON TOTAL: 1
BY JACK: 0 SEASON TOTAL: 0

DEATH BY BITING (LOL): 1 SEASON TOTAL: 1
BY JACK: 1 SEASON TOTAL: 1

DEATH BY STRANGLING: 1 SEASON TOTAL: 1
BY JACK: 0 SEASON TOTAL: 0

DEATH BY EXPLOSION: 348 SEASON TOTAL: 348
BY JACK: 0 SEASON TOTAL: 0

DEATH BY SUICIDE:(NUMBERS REFLECTED IN ABOVE DEATHS BUT WORTH NOTING):
6 SEASON TOTAL:6

Hey...this isn't exactly an earth-shattering revelation but...Is Barry Bonds the biggest ass in sports or what? He wasn't the best teammate to start with but when you get caught using amphetamines and you say you got them from a teammates locker and YOU NAME THE TEAMMATE, you just completely crossed into "Utter Jackass" land. Damn, that was cold...He just threw Mark Sweeney under the bus. Now, I think my man Barry is lying through his Human Growth Hormone affected teeth but damn...if you lie just say I don't know who I got it from. That was some truly cold business....

JACK...IS...BACK!!!

Oh boy..."24" starts up again..and will be taking over my ENTIRE weekend. Bastards!! Jack is all tortured and beaten by the Chinese...but he's back on U.S, soil in time for some huge terrorist attacks. I get the feeling that this will be the most brutal season of "24" thus far. And I have to start up my "24 Death Chart" again. Like a dope I lost my tallys for the season finale so I never got a complete number but this year I will be ON POINT. Let the carnage begin!!!!